American Gods

One of the greatest audiobooks he had listened to is American Gods by Neil Gaiman. He had recently acquired several audiobooks and Kindle Editions that he was looking forward to listening to and reading. And yet, he was drawn back to American Gods. He was drawn back to Gaiman's way with words. He couldn't help but admire... Continue Reading →

Annihilation of Joy

He was hesitant to recommend the Netflix show Midnight Gospel to anyone outside of his close friends, whom he knew would appreciate it, or at a minimum, wouldn't think he was insane for recommending it to them. He couldn't get over how fantastic last night's episode was! It seemed to perfectly capture what he had... Continue Reading →

Reprieve

He had wondered if the Darkness would ever leave him. He asked, to no one in particular, about Consciousness, and if it was hostile - so impersonal - devour[ing] to survive (so it is, so it's always been). Or, perhaps, Consciousness was indifferent, neutral at best? He struggled within himself to find where the Darkness had... Continue Reading →

Enough

He hadn't felt like this in ten years. He could vividly recall the last time he felt this way, and he remembered how it felt when it seemed like the demon was gone, exorcised. But, it would appear, the Darkness was biding its time, growing, weaving its heavy tentacles throughout his being. Now, he felt... Continue Reading →

A Change of Scenery

According to his sleep-tracking-app, he usually wakes up around 6:30 AM. That hadn't been his normal for several weeks now. Today was even more atypical. He had been awoken by his puppy, Paddington, barking. Also not typical. After telling his puppy to shhh, he lies in bed, staring at the ceiling — 5:32 AM. He... Continue Reading →

How shall we look?

It isn't that I don't want to write, I do, I'm struggling with what to write about. I'm working through emotion or emotions right now. Negative emotions. I label them negative emotions because of the restrictive quality they have to them, tightness of chest, the pressure, and pulsing of my temples, repetition of thoughts that... Continue Reading →

Avoidance

There are a few things that I've noticed over the last few days, and it has been that I tend to avoid situations by being busy. A thought enters my mind, something along the lines of, I should eat. I'm going to go eat. Almost immediately, another idea comes my mind, "Yes, I will eat... Continue Reading →

Begin again

Begin again. I haven't found a way to establish a habit of writing for thirty minutes per day. I fell off the proverbial horse three-days in. That's OK. Perhaps it is due to my daily meditation practice, but I feel that the concept of begin again has been incredibly useful in my life. What is the... Continue Reading →

Eyeing the bottle

He couldn't quite find the words to describe the feeling. His head, but more specifically, his face (or what he sensed to be his face) was tingling. He wasn't drunk - he knew what that was like, and he wasn't a fan - but he wasn't precisely sober, either. He was somewhere on the uptick... Continue Reading →

Certainty

The Pearl of Great Price, Mormon Scripture, has a written account of theophany in which Moses (which Moses? I'm not certain) sees God (which God? I don't know. Eru-Jesus? The Father-Manwe?). There is a moment where the vision ends or takes an intermission, where Moses is left to himself, as the glory of God had... Continue Reading →

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